Day Six: Middle School Part One

I have recently discovered that, for whatever reason, I am now prone to random fits of hysterical laughter. When I say hysterical I mean eye-watering, nose-running, practically hiccuping hysterical. Anything can set me off- a drooping flower, homework, a funny-looking dog. I really can’t explain why this happens. I don’t recall it ever happening before to this extent. I can only hope that this isn't a sign of my imminent mental demise.

At any rate, my visit today was to the middle school. I had to go through the whole introduction thing all over again with both the teachers and the students, after which I was given a desk in the middle of a row. Unlike at the High School where they wore actual anime-style uniforms, at the Middle School, the uniforms bore a much closer resemblance to track suits. They consisted of a blue jacket and pants under which the students wore identical blue shorts and a blue t-shirt for when it got warmer. I was a little disappointed about this.

Moving on, the first class of the day was science, and we headed to the lab for that one. Once there, I sat with a group of other girls and was given a worksheet to write my notes on. I’m reasonably sure that they were talking about plant parts, but I don’t really know. This teacher was very fond of announcing things loudly at random intervals (probably to startle anyone whose attention was drifting), and mimicking whatever it was he was talking about. For example, I know he was talking about bees at one point because he made buzzing noises up to a random student and prodded the boy with his hands. Apparently, I was the only one who found this hysterical, and I had to spend the next five minutes preventing myself from throwing one of those hysterical laughing fits I mentioned earlier. All in all, I really liked this teacher.

The class following this was English. This teacher did more or less the opposite of what the teacher at the High School had done: She made the students stand up and introduce themselves to me in English using the following system:

Hello!

My name is ____.

Please call me ____.

Nice to meet you.

After that, there was just a lot of reading, something I felt very accomplished in. Did you know that when people talk to you in an accent, it gets to the point where you almost reply to them in an accent? This is a risky thing to do, as it could irritate or insult the person you’re talking to. Of course, I’m just making an assumption, that hasn't actually happened to me yet.

Math came next. This class quickly became an unfortunate experience for me when the girl next to me pointed out to the teacher that I didn't have a paper. Now, I didn't want a paper. In fact, I would have been perfectly satisfied and not at all disappointed if I never even got to see the paper. But alas, the teacher gave me a paper. The girl next to me also insisted that I try the questions too. She was really a very nice girl; I believe she was just intent on me getting the full Japanese Middle School experience. Anyway, I looked at the questions and suddenly thought, hey, I can do this! So I started answering them, but when the teacher wrote the answers up on the board and I realized they weren't right, I was forced to rethink my progress. On the bright side, this teacher did not find it necessary to check on me, so he did not get to see how monumentally sad my efforts were. Towards the end of class, I was fairly certain that I figured out how to fix my answers so that they were right, but then the bell rang so I just dropped the whole thing.

For whatever reason, Thursday was a half day, and that meant that the final class was social studies. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t really remember this class very well. I just know that I wrote down what was on the board because it’s in my notebook.

After lunch (which was shared with the girl next to me and two of her friends), I followed some students up to the music room for the brass band club. Once there, a group of kids gathered around me to stare. It really seemed to be quite the large group. Apparently, only the one boy spoke English fluently enough, so he stood at the front translating questions, while the other club members all crowded in behind him. They weren't standing terribly close, but the spacing was still uncomfortable, so I just casually stepped back a little. I tried to make it as subtle as possible. However, a few minutes later, I found that the group had moved as well, and we were back where we’d started. So again, I took a step back, and once again I found they all moved too. I swear we moved halfway across the classroom like this, and I seemed to be the only one who noticed it was happening. Eventually however, I was taken out of questioning and to the flute room where I practiced for the rest of the afternoon.

Finally, I figured it was time to go back to the house. I thanked the students and said goodbye. On the walk back, I noticed a vending machine sitting seemingly randomly in the middle of a fence. I swear the vending machines in Japan are in some of the randomest (shut up computer. It’s a word) places ever. Since I had yet to actually purchase a drink from one, and I was thirsty, I decided to try. I pulled out some change and pushed it into the machine.

When nothing happened, I pulled the lever next to the change spot and listened to my money clatter into the machine’s belly. Still, nothing happened. I tried pushing the button on the drink I wanted, but it didn't do anything. I was really irritated at the machine for eating my money, but I really wanted that drink, so I pulled more money out of my pocket, telling myself that if it didn't work this time, I’d just leave it. You’d think I’d learn, wouldn't you?

I put the money in, pulled the lever, and again, heard my money leave. And once again, nothing happened. I was just readying to kick the apparently stubborn machine when I noticed the change return at the bottom. It had all my money in it. I hadn't been listening to the coins disappear inside the machine’s stomach; I’d been listening to the machine pooping them out. Oh, I thought, well, that changes things. I took my money back and tried putting the coins in one at a time instead of just shoving them in at once. The machine calculated how much I’d fed it and the buttons for the drinks I could afford lit up. I chose the one I wanted, and the vending machine deposited my change and my newly purchased drink.

Lesson of the day: Do not be angry with vending machines. Oftentimes, they are actually smarter than you are.